So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
