Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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