I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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