Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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