Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
