So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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