I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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