didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
