You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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