you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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