I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
im holly from the hills drunk
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize