I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
