I didn't shave. On purpose
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Randomize
