Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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