Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
