dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
