Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
