i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
