I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
