Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
