Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
50% drunk capacity currently
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
false alarm, still single
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
