Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize