I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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