SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
