just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
