Porn is love you can see.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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