Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
