Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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