Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
