just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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