i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
