He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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