and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
