I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
