I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
