hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
