You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
