..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
