Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
