No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize