he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
