Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
