Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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