if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
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