It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
