Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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