god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
