i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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