I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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