I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
