Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
