mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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