yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
