He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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