Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
