don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
it was like eating out sand paper
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
