I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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